Love is complex and there are no simple explanations as to why people are falling in love with one particular person and not another. Some writers believed this is the way human overcome loneliness and others believed this is our deepest needs to connect with people around us.
Many others tried to explain the complexity of love however there are some important factors that contribute to people falling in love and these include chemistry of love, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and physical attractiveness.
Chemistry of Love
According to researchers Michael Liebowitz and Anthony Walsh, passionate loves are a result of three key brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. The three neurotransmitters are norepinephrine, dopamine, and phenylethylamine (PEA) that produces effects such as natural high, excitement, and euphoria.
They also indicated that the transition of romantic love (infatuation) into committed long term relationship is the result of brain chemical called endorphins. This chemical produces soothing feelings that provide sense of peace and security in a relationship.
Proximity is one of the important factors that explain why people are only falling in love with one particular person. Proximity allows us to develop close relationship with people we see on regular basis. This is called the mere exposure effect which means we are attracted to people we see frequently and in close proximity to us.
Engaging in activities or sharing common interest in close proximity such as school or sports also influences who we are attracted to. According to researcher Lauman and his associates who conducted national survey about where people are most likely to meet their sex partners, the survey was sorted into high preselection versus low preselection.
High preselection include places such as school or fitness center where people meet and share common interest. Low preselectoin include places such as bars or vacation sites where people meet and share common interest. Research concludes that places in high preselection are more likely for people to meet their sex partners than places in low preselection.
Therefore places such as school and work are more likely for people to meet their future partner because of share common interest and frequent contact with the same person on regular basis is why people are only falling in love with one particular person.
Falling in love with one particular person also has to do with similarity such as sharing same common value, beliefs, and interests. People with similar interests tend to engage in similar activities and they are more effective at communicating with each other which is also important for maintaining long-term relationship.
Reciprocity plays an important role in furthering the relationship. We feel flatter towards people who have shown interest and affection towards us and we respond positively by showing our interest and affection towards them which in turn further the relationship.
Physical attractiveness plays an important role in the early stages of a relationship in attracting potential mate to us. Physical beauty is an indicator of good health and people enjoy looking at someone who is beautiful. People enjoy associating themselves with beautiful people because of the status and personal qualities they could offer. Beautiful people are perceived to have good qualities that translate into satisfying relationships.
Based on the survey conducted by David Buss, heterosexual men and women from different culture including North America do not view physical attractiveness equally in mate selection. Men place greater value on physical attractiveness and youth on potential mate. Women prefer potential mate who are older, financially secure, and dependable.
According to Buss, men are attracted to physical beauty and youth because these are indicators of good health in terms of providing offspring. Women are attracted to older and financially secure men because these are indicators of wealth and security for her and the offspring.
According to Buss, even though physical attractiveness plays an
important role in the early stages of a relationship both mates prefer
kindness, understanding, and intelligence to be more important in
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